5 Biggest Reasons a Seller Won’t Work With You

Cody Sperber
By Cody Sperber |

something went wrongBummer! The deal fell through. You thought you had all your ducks in a row. You liked the property, you thought you had the right price and the right offer, but you lost it. The seller chose not to do business with you. Grrr!

What Went Wrong?

Has this ever happened to you? Were you baffled? Did you end up scratching your head wondering what in the world went wrong?

I can’t answer your question for sure, but I do know at least five reasons that might cause your deal to go south. Take a look at these and see if anything here resonates with you.

1. Not Making an Emotional Connection with the Seller

Nearly every seller who’s ever done a deal with me did so because they liked me and trusted me. The concept of building rapport with a seller is strategic. While this might happen naturally, most of us have to be consciously aware of what we look like, what we sound like, and how we interact with the seller. This begins from the first moment we get on the phone with them.

Let’s look at an example..

You’re at the grocery store picking up a few items and a call from a prospective seller comes through. You’re so excited you take the call right then and there in the produce aisle.

You’re not focused; you have no strategy; you have no quiet place to write down important notes; you’re unable to ask engaging questions. In other words, you have no opportunity to build good rapport.

This is a good way to set yourself up for failure.

I know from personal experience that if the seller doesn’t like you, it doesn’t matter what offer you make, they aren’t going to do the deal with you.

I would have to say that making an emotional connection with the seller is even more important than the offer you’re making. (I know. Difficult to believe, but true nevertheless.)

2. Making it all About you Instead of all About Them

Oh yeah – this is such an easy trap to fall into.

You’re making it sound as if this business deal is all about you, when in truth, it really is all about the seller.

This happens with realtors especially as they try to make themselves sound as successful as possible. They make it a point to emphasize their credentials, the many initials behind their name, and the fact that they’re in the million-dollar club. Their thought is: “If I make myself sound impressive, this person will want to do business with me.”

This is a huge mistake. You want to make it all about them. Outline the benefits for them and what’s in it for them. Every part of your conversation and every part of your marketing should be about them and not about you. The quicker you learn this concept the more successful your investor business will be.

3. Being Condescending or Talking Down to the Seller

This problem generally arises with newbie investors. They’re still a bit self-conscious (make that way way self-conscious) about their lack of experience. So in order to make up for what they perceive is lacking, they feel they have to come off as some kind of an expert in order to snag the deal.

stop talkingInstead, this tactic comes back and bites you in the keister. Why? Because that seller feels you are patronizing; it comes off as being condescending.

The key is to put yourself on their level and create an environment of trust and understanding, to respect and honor the other person’s world.

Instead of giving the impression that you’re one-up over them, the key is to enter that seller’s world and see things from their perspective. Respect and empathize with their emotions. When you do this, it enhances the whole relationship.

4. Lack of Confidence

This reason is closely related to #3.

The dilemma here is that if you don’t believe in yourself, and if you don’t believe you can pull off this real estate investing thing, you’ll wind up oozing that emotion all over the place. As you talk to the seller, that seller will sense your timidity. It will be extremely difficult for them to trust you if they sense that you have little or no confidence in yourself.

Work on confidence building techniques such as:

  • Visualization
  • Affirmations
  • Reading and listening to confidence-building positive materials
  • Seeking out an accountability partner to work with you in this area

Confidence doesn’t happen by accident – you must purposefully build it in your own mind.

5. Starting the Conversation off with Price

We’ve already established that it’s crucial to build rapport in order to get the seller to like you and to trust you. This will never happen if the first words out of your mouth are to present your price offer.

By leading off with price, you’ve pretty much painted yourself into a corner. Now you’ve got to believe you can convince the seller, through use of logic, that you’re offer is a good offer.

If you’re not solving the seller’s challenges or problems, and the seller doesn’t see your offer as a good one, you could shut yourself clear out of the negotiation. It’ll be very hard to recover. Always start from the seller’s point of view and let them know you’re there to solve their problem.

6. BONUS: Not Overcoming Core Objections

I said that I was going to give 5 reasons that a seller won’t work with you, but I always like to over-deliver, so here’s the bonus – a sixth reason:

truthWhen the seller says, “I need to think about it…” and you leave the house with those words still ringing in your ears – here’s what that seller is actually saying:

“You have not fully answered my questions the way I need you to. I haven’t heard the things that I want to hear in order to feel comfortable doing business with you.”

It’s all up to you to make sure you’ve answered every question – both spoken and unspoken. What are their core objections? How can you make them feel comfortable that you have all the bases covered?

When the seller says, “I want to think about it,” your next question should be, “What exactly is it that you need to think about?” And go from there. Leave no stone unturned till you know what the holdup is.

I did a series a while back on what I called Seller Negotiation Hacks. Some of the ideas and strategies in that series fit right in with what I’ve presented today. Find out more right here!

All the Best,


Tags: ,

Trackback from your site.